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That’s why it’s more important than ever to know exactly what to say on that first date.
It’s not always easy, of course—especially when nerves come into play and you two aspiring lovebirds struggle to find your conversational footing.
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The aforementioned Stanford study found that women especially felt a connection with men who interrupted them—but probably not in the way you’re imagining.
To be clear: cutting someone off to dominate the conversation isn’t attractive.
What’s more, 66 percent didn’t love being interrupted for their date to respond to a text, and 41 percent think just having your phone on the table face-up is just plain rude.
Knowing what you want is definitely an attractive quality.
Research conducted by behavioral economist and Duke professor Dan Ariely showed that asking highly controversial questions such as, “How do you feel about abortion? ” actually ended up creating more meaningful, interesting, and attraction-producing conversations than the run-of-the-mill questions about hobbies, family, and work.
Of course, those standard date topics are important—but asking a question that requires emotional consideration and openness about values establishes a level of trust that is necessary for a deeper level of attraction.
So is being in touch with who you are and what you’re after.
“Don’t hesitate to spell out what you’re up for,” advises Milrad.